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The A.V. Club Deadspin Gizmodo Jalopnik Jezebel Kotaku Lifehacker The Root The Takeout Clickhole The Onion The Inventory A Supposedly Feminist Website Latest Features The Muse The Slot Pictorial Barf Bag Dirt Bag Video You may also like Gizmodo YouTuber Gives Fake Award to Far-Right Activist Who Calls Greta Thunberg an 'Autistic Fucking Wench' Matt Novak Yesterday 6:00AM View on News ’90s Kids Rejoice! The Spider Eggs They Used To Fill Beanie Babies Are Finally Hatching! ClickHole 11/05/14 12:32PM View on The Onion Carhartt Introduces Rugged Work Thong The Onion 9/28/05 1:46PM Advertisement Read on 11/30/15 11/30/15 11:03 AM 101 Read on 11/30/15 Commenters Who Should Not Exist C.A. Pinkham 131 101 11/28/15 11:10 AM 124 11/28/15 Waffle House Customer Allegedly Shoots, Kills Server After Being Asked Not to Smoke [Update] C.A. Pinkham 442 124 Hey guys, just here to brighten your fucking weekend, because we needed more good news about murderous, heavily-armed shitheads right now. Good times. 11/27/15 11:21 AM 35 11/27/15 Russian Government Still Punching Itself in the Dick About Food Imports C.A. Pinkham 123 35 Thanks to the downing of a Russian Su-24 fighter , Russia is declaring war...on Turkish food imports. Because this is a tactic that has worked so well for them lately. 11/25/15 11:44 AM 28 11/25/15 Nude Australian Gentleman Arrested for Hamburglary C.A. Pinkham 157 28 Look, sometimes you just have to rubble rubble, or at least the Australian equivalent. Advertisement 11/23/15 11:00 AM 146 11/23/15 The Best Restaurant Stories of 2015 C.A. Pinkham 773 146 11/21/15 11:33 AM 41 11/21/15 McDonald's Fined $355,000 For Allegedly Being Consistently Shitty to Immigrants C.A. Pinkham 283 41 McDonald’s allegedly did a shitty thing? McDonald’s allegedly did a shitty thing! 11/19/15 9:49 AM 28 11/19/15 Dairy Queen Robbed By Mysterious, Sword-Wielding Assailant C.A. Pinkham 188 28 Y’know. Just robbing a Dairy Queen with a sword. As one does. 11/18/15 4:30 PM 17 11/18/15 Forget the Chicken and Just Make Mushrooms With Mustard Marsala Sauce, Dude Hillary Crosley Coker 186 17 Welcome to Better Than It Looks, a series in which we discuss the recipes we tried (and maybe failed) to execute, and the foods that were served to us by someone perhaps more talented than ourselves. Advertisement 11/16/15 6:33 PM 39 11/16/15 Papa John's Franchise Owner Sentenced to Jail Time For Wage Theft C.A. Pinkham 219 39 In a ruling as unusual as it is heartening for wage advocates, a Papa John’s franchise owner has been sentenced to 60 days in jail for wage theft. 11/16/15 3:45 PM 15 11/16/15 America Now Scalping Patti LaBelle Walmart Pies Like They're H&M Balmain Hillary Crosley Coker 92 15 Three days have passed since the internet discovered Patti LaBelle’s Walmart sweet potato pies, thanks to a man named James Wright. If you haven’t gotten a pie already, good luck, because social media is filled with photos of empty dessert displays. Why, Patti, why? 11/16/15 11:00 AM 113 11/16/15 Stories of the World's Most Inexplicable Restaurant Customers C.A. Pinkham 1.9K 113 Welcome back to Behind Closed Ovens, where we take a look at the best and strangest stories from inside the food industry. This week, we’ve got stories of customers who defy all logic and reason. As always, these are real e-mails from real readers. 11/14/15 1:00 PM 48 11/14/15 Mandatory Glove Laws in Restaurants Are Still Incredibly Stupid C.A. Pinkham 228 48 Sanitation is important in restaurants, where health code violations are frequently a problem. The dumbest possible way to attempt to combat this problem, however, is with mandatory glove laws. Advertisement 11/13/15 9:22 PM 64 11/13/15 Denny's Customer Arrested After Alleged Pancake-Addled Rampage C.A. Pinkham 307 64 It is physically impossible for me to love a story with that headline any more than I already do. 11/13/15 2:34 PM 14 11/13/15 How to Make the Ayn Brand, a Vodka Cocktail That'll Get You Objectively Shitfaced David Antonio Perezcassar 42 14 Welcome to Boozinette . This is the Ayn Brand. 11/12/15 6:53 PM 35 11/12/15 Study Purports to Show Yelp Reviewers Tend to be Racist Towards Minority-Owned Businesses C.A. Pinkham 244 35 Oh, hey, look at that: according to a new study, Yelp reviews appear to have a tendency to be racist, as well as all the other negative qualifiers you’d care to lob their way. Fancy that. 11/11/15 7:58 PM 20 11/11/15 Joe's Crab Shack is Trying a No-Tipping Model C.A. Pinkham 256 20 Joe’s Crab Shack has been testing out eliminating tipping at some locations in potential preparation for a national roll-out of the policy, and honestly, I’m not sure how to feel about it. Advertisement 11/11/15 5:00 PM 15 11/11/15 I Made Mutherfuckin' Apple Cake and It Was Goddamned Delicious Kate Dries 223 15 Welcome to Better Than It Looks, a series in which we discuss the recipes we tried (and maybe failed) to execute, and the foods that were served to us by someone perhaps more talented than ourselves. 11/9/15 11:00 AM 153 11/9/15 Stories of the Best and Funniest Restaurant Customers C.A. Pinkham 1.8K 153 Welcome back to Behind Closed Ovens, where we take a look at the best and strangest stories from inside the food industry. This week, let’s all restore our collective faith in humanity with stories of some of the best restaurant customers out there. As always, these are real e-mails from real readers. 11/7/15 11:00 AM 90 11/7/15 Stories of Celebrities in Restaurants C.A. Pinkham 888 90 Welcome back to Behind Closed Ovens, where we take a look at the best and strangest stories from inside the food industry. As a special Weekend BCO, we’ve got stories of celebrities in restaurants—the good, the bad, and the Colonel Sanders. As always, these are real e-mails from real readers. 11/6/15 4:40 PM 7 11/6/15 How to Make Autumn's Red Rooster, a Cocktail That Answers the Question 'What's Pumpkin Lard?' David Antonio Perezcassar 6 7 Welcome to Boozinette . This is Autumn’s Red Rooster. Advertisement More stories Advertisement...